I have no idea if they're real or not, but the subject
read: "Actual Resume Quotes"... Real or not: Enjoy!
Real bullet points
people put on their resumes...
I am very detail-oreinted.
Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
Served as assistant sore manager.
Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco.
Special skills: Experienced with numerous office
machines and can make great lattes.
Special Skills: Speak English.
Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts.
Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.
Objectives: 10-year goal: Total obliteration of sales
and federal income taxes and tax laws.
Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a
daily basis.
Objection: To utilize my skills in sales.
Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for
years.
Special skills: Thyping.
Typing Speed: 756 wpm.
I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute.
I am a rabid typist.
I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis.
I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation.
Extensive background in public accounting. I can also
stand on my head!
I eat computers for lunch.
I have used lots of software appilcations.
Experience with: LBM-compatible computers.
I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
Exposure to German for two years, but many words are
inappropriate for business.
Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice
president's girlfriend could steal my job.
Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning
to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately.
Reason for leaving last job: Bounty hunting was outlaw
in my state.
Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the
two are usually inseparable.
I perform my job with effortless efficiency,
effectiveness, efficacy, and expertise.
My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable.
My contributions on product launches were based on
dreams that I had.
My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can
sometimes offend.
