The Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook
his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead", he replied.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done
any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook
his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few
moments later with a beautiful cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the
bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly
and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in
shock, took the bill.

"$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan..."